onsdag 6. januar 2016

I lost my daughter

Hello...

I wrote a blog entry in my norwegian blog not many days ago and it has hit over 4thousands readers...
over 300 shares and so on...
I figured it might be smart to share in english aswell, since i know there is many out there from other countries whom had been in contact with the norwegian child"care" system called BARNEVERNET


I do not really sure if I am ready for it yet, but again as I know never if one can be ready for such a thing.

Ive had so many nights without sleep, slept on the day when the body fails me ...

I can not stop thinking so incredibly much ... I hope to share that writing everything down will make things easier.



I'm afraid to tell this because I know many trust in Norway  system, so many will not believe me ... Some people will look down on me thinking bad things without really knowing anything about the truth ... So this is the most honest, painful to  post for me  or to ever write.

It might be messy, maybe not the best written post you will read ... I'm sorry but i hope its ok
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The 10/12/2015

This is the worst day of my life, and with so many to choose from there is pretty bad ...

I lost the dearest thing in my life,  I had absolutely zero power to do anything to stop it...

Cordelia Namine is no longer  with me.



I told I was going on mothers home (an instetution for families) to I would blog honestly about this on my norwegian blog...

To begin with, it seemed okay, things were so posetive we sensed no danger ...

After awhile I stopped blogging because I was afraid, afraid about that if iwas honest would someone in the system become even more provoked to hurt us, they dont like  those who shout loudest. (they have threatened us  like for example not getting advocates and so on)

Things changed so quickly, I realized eventually absolutely no plans to let us go home with our child  all I wanted then was to get away. but I could not get it to happen quickly enough ...

So we did everything, everything in our power to be perfect, to do  whatever they said, and did not dare for a second to think for ourselves ..



They began only after a week of gentle hinting about to give up custody, because people like us never use to get good enough " you want the best for their child, what if you can never be good enough ?"

 I started to see clearly things were not as it should ... it was even more pressure on the next meeting to give her from us we can not be good enough , they  just plain manipulate us to lose faith on ourselves ...They tought about it day by day to take her away they said, so out stress level natrually became HUGE



The entire first week went on only the att they should observe, often they gave  nice compliment to us, some of it was stuff they later critizied? They tried to be as friendly as they could,and made me open myself for the things about childhood and my life ... I told those things to them confidence and trust...

They wrote down it all, to later in papers have changed to distorted to  misunderstood, to use it AGAINST me ... So I felt so disappointed that I trusted them,  all this was for them just acting? To get the most use against  me later?

I can almost imagine them zig while I tell about that i've been bullied so bad I had social anxiety, they thought this is great to write down to use it as much as they can ...



after the first week they began with the "help" that most  means that they write up everything we do to later critizie us. and by providing unspesific hint about awhat  ​​they want us to, that we have almost guess what they want from us ...
bu time it's a little better but NEVER good enough ... Not to talk about all employees had different opinion about what was right to wrong, to constantly talke about finding the perfect balance.

These are small things like for example you forget something ONCE they claim it happens all the time. This has happened in many areas to I will carefully go into that later.

They also became more and more absent to less and less sightings of us with out daugther, even though it was on our week plan ... Still it says things in their reports that not even happened at all ... Fictional literally. But this is something not revealed at the time I was there, all I knew is att they did too little observations.

They talked about how some people could not have biological insinkt to care or love kids enough, that they have researched this stuff ... That people with tough childhood or traumatic experiences follow certain pattern in almost all cases ect...

So I was afraid and scared !struggled to keep me strong, but no matter what we did nothing helped! We were non human robots at this time but it was never good enough





Because we could not force feed my daughter enough  gain weight as fast as they wanted! YES force feed....

You see  ... My daughter is premature dismatur, Many of you who have children with the same problems know weight gain is difficult, often they can lie slightly behind other childern, but FOLLOWS THEIR OWN CURVE ... This was also true for my daughter, she followed her own curve but was slow at gaining weight...

We were often the doctor because of this but the doctor said she always follows  own curve so no danger, she boasted of us and our care, said child is just fine ... But CPS did not give up and we had to different doctors several times ... Although doctors always just gave posetiv feedback ...

But even tough so pushed childservices us to feed her more, try more ... That ended so that she was more absent to less social to happy as she used to be !!!

but we had not done what they said to us, they had taken her from us ...
After some time they saw her changes like we did and Finally they regretted, said they see that we were right it was too much. so we have to calm down ...

we relax finally things were good again to our girl and ourselfs

But as soon as we arrived at home (instetution) the same thing happened again, much more extreme ... to the extent that she even was sick one night ... the staff blamed it on air in her belly, although she gulped plenty and made sounds of being unpleased and hurt, stomach was hard  ... I sat there and had to feed her more, and she tried to get away from the food, cried... but they said "try more"

One of the doctors we were with was an emergency doctor, only for the situations that need instant care ... They sent us there ( later said in the papers it was because they were worried about development with her.)

This doctor was litteraly annoyed because we used his time and took it from people who really could use help ... He said the child was well ad there was nothing wrong, he laughed even  at the lady from Solbakken (wehere i lived)   when she said how large amount they thought she really should eat, according to him it was impossible and also they could not follow statistics on so you had to watch your child if they where pleased or not, that if a child didnt have enough food it would be unhappy and have no energy.


The lady who was with was angry  said doctor didnr help us, and was not serious enough...  and did not know what he was talking about etc ...



We were then arranged to another doctor at the health station of children nurses ...

 the doctor boosted us and said we did a good job, she evolved as a baby at 5 and a half months even though she was supposed to be behind because she's premature, she followed his own curve etc. etc. ...

But she agreed to would try to get an appointment with a pediatrician to finally end the topic when a letter from a pediatrician's nothing they can say against on contrary!



Not long after the doctors they took her. We never got to go to a pediatrician, one that 100% could proof as to whether the child was "starved" or over fed ... (random? i think not)



They also most likely didnt have enough to use against me.
cause suddenly in my papers  there was lot of stuff that was not even true or had happened ... which then did everything impossible for me ... I had not had a lawyer, or no recordings to protect myself against  their lies ...
all I have are pictures to videos showing a happy girl <3and friends, family who have seen us with her, and the doctors thank God <3 ... but it is not enough against their power.



Later in court i found out that all my 3 and a half weeks at the center, they had virtually already worked to find a foster home ... Despite the fact that I was willing to have her with family like my grandmother ... They claim she was not good enough to meet my child's needs, but only difference between her and the foster family is that they have taken pride courses ... They are even the same age! My granny could have gotten the course aswell so its just lies!



We have several courses and tutorials that was started but never completed with childservices... We have asked if we stay in foster care with the child, which is possible but infrequent to do?

When I finally contacted a lawyer (the day before I knew they were going to take her because I wanted to write out of the instetution because of the psychological terror they inflicted)

He said if we contacted him before, he would never recommend us to move there  because such places most people lost their children



They have not yet had her pediatrician ... Oh do not look as they have plans to do so.

Even worse is that my kids lost 5grams after she came under their "care"

 I was informed because of my bad memory may I never have custody of children even if I write up things to remember, for it is not good enough, (but hey my memory is not THAT bad cause i do remember all the things i write her now even so long after it happen...) this was in the context that I struggle with numbers ( large numbers) they expected I would remember every minutes she had eaten or slept, exact quantity etc in my head and not written down ...

When foster parents had her  and I was there I asked how much she had eaten throughout the day, he replied "ehhh ummh eh" and was interrupted by childwelfare who said "it goes well dont worry,  he has written it down" ... oh so now its ok when he does it ?


I would point out that i have nothing against foster parents this is not their fault they have nothing to to do with this except that they have my child ... But I'm very skeptical after she lost weight unfortunately ...



I will go into more detail in more posts, so you can get to know this as carefully as possible because I want people to know the truth about Norway's child welfare ...

I just needed to facilitate my heart.

Believe me or not I expect nothing ... But hope truth reaches.

I know many will believe that the system works, att many will turn away because they can not see the truth, it is too painful ...

It's easier to think the child is taken because the parents had done something bad ... No one will believe it can happen to anyone...
No one will think of the pain losing her own child without even deserve it, or damage they actually inflicts kids ...






Yes they do much good, but it is not well enough when they inflict so much damage and to actually work illegally without been stopped ... All we need is a system change and new rules ...

So would even those who really need help got it,
And we would stop being a surogate for the state.

For indeed it is  the dark future for many of us who lose their  children,
 they are often given away for adoption  after 3 years without a chance to see "improvement" with the parent  or someone in your family instead taking her/him . Believe it or not ....

I've even read women on forums that discuss becoming a foster home because then it is easier to adopt.

Oh no, I am not claiming it is in all cases they take children for know reason, i know it is many whom needs it ... But it still happens too much, and just helping a few dosent make it okey when most u hurt,
Even abroad  countries they rage against Norway's Child Welfare  and some  provide asylum to Norwegian and foreign who want to keep their children from the system.




I've had a dark past a tough life, many people have it ... But that does not mean we will be judged for the rest of our lifes?, to our children to have their children taken aswell?

I fixed my life the day I had life inside me, a life I love more than anything.
Everything changed when she got  pregnant... anxiety was gone, self-harm stopped, really, she saved my life made me a better person ...
 I would NEVER done anything wrong with her I LOVE MY KID! but I've been robbed off her, when Norway's child welfare has so much power that they have... it is so little chance to get her back ...



My daugther is being deprived of family and identity ... one day she becomes 18 to have the right to know the truth ... How should a human handle knowing your whole life is built up on a lie? What if she has siblings in the future? cousin?
What if I do not live anymore, so she never got a chance to get to know me?
what with all the other related to her? she never got the choice to be part of their life, knowing them...
What is it that makes it okay to take a child to not even give the rest of the family chance to meet her? What have they done wrong? No drugs, no violence, no mental problem but still it is all taken away from them aswell...

Can you really say with hand on heart that system in Norway works?


10 kommentarer:

  1. It's so hard to belive that something like this could happen nowadays, I have lack of words to describe how sorry I am that you have to go through this. I just wish you to be strong, faithful and have a hope that this nightmare will end soon. I pray for you. K.

    SvarSlett
  2. Thank you for sharing this. I will share with friends. The world must know what is going on.

    SvarSlett
  3. Ikke la dem komme unna med dette! Du MÅ ordne deg en GOD advokat, koste hva det koste vil, som kjemper for deg når du er for psykisk og fysisk sliten til å kjempe mot systemet selv. Skaff deg en advokat som har rykte på seg for å ofte vinne mot barnevernet, og samle ALL informasjon du kan få tak i, skriv ned ALT du husker, og få venner og familie også til å skrive ned hvert minste grann de kan huske som kan gagne dere.
    Det er dette de gjør. Tar fra unge mennesker selvtilliten, ryggraden, selvbildet, og sparker deg mens du ligger nede, slik at du ikke skal ha krefter til å motsi dem.

    Derfor KAN du ikke la dem slippe unna med dette, gå til sak, taper du, ank, og ank igjen. Bli hørt, gå til media, skrik så høyt du bare makter, for dette må ut, fram, og i lyset!

    Kjenner ei som måtte gå flere runder, med noenlunde lik historie som din, som til slutt vant på alle punkter, så ikke gi opp! Samle krefter der du kan, og reis deg hver eneste gang de slår deg ned, skriv ned alt de gjør mot deg, og bruk advokaten for ALT han er verdt! Innhent papirer fra leger du har vært i kontakt med, MAKE them listen to you!

    Dette klarer du! Jeg heier på deg! Oh, samtidig: Meld deg inn i alle barnevernsmotstander-sider du kan finne, og allièr deg med sterke stemmer! Sørg for å BLI HØRT.

    Ønsker deg all verdens lykke til, og vit at det er flere som har stått ut kampen og VUNNET mot dem!

    Bjørneklem fra Verdal'n <3

    SvarSlett
    Svar
    1. Jeg er enig med deg Ellen. Og Verona .. jeg er her for deg på godt å vondt. Trenger du en skulder å gråte på eller noen som hjelper deg opp når alt mot er ute så er jeg her ❤ kjempe glad i deg , stooor klem ❤

      Slett
  4. My heart aches for you. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Every mother has the right to keep her child. Those people from that so called "child protection" have no heart and their actions are not correct. What they do is outrageous. I am Romanian, and this happened to some Romanian families too. Maybe you heard in the media. Barnevernet is not helping children, they are kidnapping children. I hope, really hope that they will fall, so that you and the other families can get back their children. <3

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  5. I'm so, so very sorry about you and your daughter. I cannot believe to what atrocities are exposed parents and children there...
    You have to fight for your child! Don't let them get away so easily...they are STEALING children from their natural, loving parents to give them to those degenerates who aren't able to make their own, and beside that they take a lot of money/child.
    Did you asked the foster "parents" how much money did they received for your daughter?

    SvarSlett
  6. What do you mean when you argumenting why Barnevernet considered the foster family better than the extenced family (your grannie) "they have taken pride courses"?!
    Is this " a must" when taking good care of a child..gay parade, praid parade?! Is this the "superior interest of a child în Norway?!

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  7. They ask you to be PERFECT!!!!100%.99%is not enough!!!it doesn't matter much how good they are.they are human.mistakes are permitted. God give you the strength to fight against this diabolic sistem.we are romanians and we pray not just for our families(read about Botnariu family) but for all who were deprived by their treasu

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  8. Don't stop here!!! Speak up!!! If you don't make noise the evil will just get stronger!!! I pray every night that all of you heart broken parents will get your innocent babies back!! Be strong and reach out for other people who were victims of this satanic system, just like you!! There s people manifesting all over Europe against these beasts!!!!!!!it s time to come out of the darkness, cause everyone is listening!!!!!!!we never knew what was goin on there before!!! Now we know!!!! People are outraged!!!!!!!!speak up!!! Reach out for help outside of the country if possible!!!!!!!!!'

    SvarSlett